We are inching up! Woohoo! Thanks to our most recent donors!
I'm still in awe. God is so good.
Friday, August 30, 2013
Saturday, August 24, 2013
He is Able
After my last blog post, someone commented that the money we will spend to adopt Ai Lan would be better spent on helping the homeless in Stockton. Can I suggest that God has enough resources and enough members in the body of Christ to help the poor, widowed, AND orphaned all at the same time? God's money, vision, and love has no limits, so why should ours?
Can we also agree, as Christians, that one person's calling is not higher or greater than another's? If someone is called to fundraise to assist the local homeless population, they absolutely should do so, and the Church can respond to that. Each has been gifted in kind for the work that God has prepared for him. God breaks our hearts for what breaks his, so if your heart for the homeless is broken, embrace that while at the same time respecting other's missions, whether it be the poor, widowed, orphaned, broken spirited, intellectually disabled, unborn, mentally ill, or spiritually lost, and whether it be those who are local or global.
Lastly, I'd like to ask the anonymous commenter one question. What if it were our sweet, carefree, loving Josie that was somehow stuck, without her family, in a foreign country, and Dan and I had to pay a $30,000 ransom to her captors to rescue her? And what if I asked our family and friends, many of whom attend our church, to help us raise the money to ransom our daughter, would you also then suggest that we instead donate that money to the local homeless population? You may not see Ai Lan as our daughter, worthy of a $30,000 ransom, but the minute I saw the words under her face on that website that said, "I have a family," she became our daughter in no less of a way than our biological children became ours at birth. God has an amazing way of putting love in the hearts of adoptive parents for adopted children even before they take custody of the child. It's a gift from a God who has already adopted us and as my brother pointed out, your ransom, and mine, cost much more than $30,000. It cost his life.
Please watch this video. It's a sermon by Eric Ludy called Depraved Indifference.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
God is Faithful
The emotional highs and lows in the last few months have been staggering to me. I have already watched loved ones go through this process. My brother, Matt, and sister-in-law, Traci, adopted their son Ty from Ethiopia just over two years ago (has it really been that long?), so I thought I knew what I was getting in to. Nope. Simply watching someone closely while they go through the adoption process can never compare to actually going through it, try though you may with all your best intentions to sympathize or celebrate with them. It's simply not the same.
I. Can't. Believe it.
So here's the deal on the funding. We had to raise the amount fundraised by $1,500 because our adoption expenses have already come to about 21,500, and we were also just told by Holt to expect that our travel will cost $10,000 for the two weeks (wow, really? No bueno. Guess they weren't kidding about that).
BUT LOOK AT WHAT OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS HAVE ALREADY DONATED!
This is simply unbelievable to me. I have applied for grants and adoption loans, which honestly I don't really expect to be granted because these non-profits are underfunded...Show Hope alone turns down 3000 applications a year. Today I told some friends, "I don't want to take out an interest bearing loan to bring home Ai Lan, but if that's what I have to do, that's what I have to do." (This is the point when I can see in my mind's eye God shaking his head in disappointment) Then tonight, we got a donation that literally made me hit my knees, face to the ground, and repent for my unbelief that this effort will be fully funded. With the donation came the Bible verse James 1:27:
I thank God for people who understand that we are not in this for our own personal gain.
And I wonder how any Christian could possibly misunderstand our intentions. Maybe if they saw my "under the duvet ugly cry" while I mourn bad adoption news they would understand I'm not doing this because I love watching people write me checks or because I want others to pay for my ever so glamorous and self-serving ambition to parent a child with special needs that is not biologically my own (insert eye roll here). Believe me, if we had the money to pay the entire ransom for the life of our daughter, the one God placed on our hearts to rescue from the tragedy of abandonment, and who without adoption would languish in an orphanage and never get the medical care she needs, we would STILL accept gifts from our loved ones (I bet you thought I was going to say we'd just pay it all ourselves, didn't you). Why? Because with every dollar someone puts toward that ransom, they become a part of the solution to the global orphan crisis in a tangible way, and that is a holy thing to do, and I would never begrudge someone the joy that comes with offering that kind of grace. It is but a glimpse of the grace that God shows us through our own adoption to Him.
If you have donated to our adoption fund, prayed for us, donated raffle and silent auction prizes, or just simply taken the time to ask me how things are going...thank you. You have no idea what your support of our daughter, and of our family here, means to me. God already has and will continue to provide for this adoption. I'm not sure how. I'm not sure when. I'm not sure who. But I trust that the money will be there when we need it.
The amazing, top of the mountain moments, like when you get your referral, when you turn in that completed dossier, when you get your LOA, or when someone goes beyond generous with a donation that drops you to your knees, do not bring an observer the unbridled joy it does the adopting parents.
Likewise, the low points, like when you look at the $30,000+ price tag on this process, or when your meticulously composed dossier gets rejected for no good reason other than it seemed someone at the consulate had PMS that day, or when someone anonymously and falsely accuses you of ungodly motives for fundraising...yep...those are the moments when you want to crawl under the bedcovers, curl up in the fetal position, and sob until you've got nothing left, mourning the child that is still parentless and the process that seems endless. Someone who hasn't been there simply cannot commiserate.
Some days I'm up on the mountain top.
Some days I'm doing the ugly cry under my duvet.
Today I did both.
I'll spare you the gory details on the bad stuff.
Here's the good stuff:
I. Can't. Believe it.
So here's the deal on the funding. We had to raise the amount fundraised by $1,500 because our adoption expenses have already come to about 21,500, and we were also just told by Holt to expect that our travel will cost $10,000 for the two weeks (wow, really? No bueno. Guess they weren't kidding about that).
BUT LOOK AT WHAT OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS HAVE ALREADY DONATED!
This is simply unbelievable to me. I have applied for grants and adoption loans, which honestly I don't really expect to be granted because these non-profits are underfunded...Show Hope alone turns down 3000 applications a year. Today I told some friends, "I don't want to take out an interest bearing loan to bring home Ai Lan, but if that's what I have to do, that's what I have to do." (This is the point when I can see in my mind's eye God shaking his head in disappointment) Then tonight, we got a donation that literally made me hit my knees, face to the ground, and repent for my unbelief that this effort will be fully funded. With the donation came the Bible verse James 1:27:
"Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you."
I thank God for people who understand that we are not in this for our own personal gain.
And I wonder how any Christian could possibly misunderstand our intentions. Maybe if they saw my "under the duvet ugly cry" while I mourn bad adoption news they would understand I'm not doing this because I love watching people write me checks or because I want others to pay for my ever so glamorous and self-serving ambition to parent a child with special needs that is not biologically my own (insert eye roll here). Believe me, if we had the money to pay the entire ransom for the life of our daughter, the one God placed on our hearts to rescue from the tragedy of abandonment, and who without adoption would languish in an orphanage and never get the medical care she needs, we would STILL accept gifts from our loved ones (I bet you thought I was going to say we'd just pay it all ourselves, didn't you). Why? Because with every dollar someone puts toward that ransom, they become a part of the solution to the global orphan crisis in a tangible way, and that is a holy thing to do, and I would never begrudge someone the joy that comes with offering that kind of grace. It is but a glimpse of the grace that God shows us through our own adoption to Him.
If you have donated to our adoption fund, prayed for us, donated raffle and silent auction prizes, or just simply taken the time to ask me how things are going...thank you. You have no idea what your support of our daughter, and of our family here, means to me. God already has and will continue to provide for this adoption. I'm not sure how. I'm not sure when. I'm not sure who. But I trust that the money will be there when we need it.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
The LOA
The adoption process is not for sissies. Knitting together a human in my womb, or four, was much easier work. Adoption is full of tedious paper work, seemingly ridiculous requirements, agonizingly long waits for others to do their job, and the constant urge to fight the pull of depression as the days tick by. Though you may dream about her, hear her laughter ringing in your ears, and imagined you can hear her shuffling in her fleece footsie jammies into your room to climb into bed with you in the wee hours of the morning, one thing remains...she's still has no idea you even exist. She's still, in her mind an orphan.
Until, one day, she's not. That's the day that you are informed that your paperwork was finally approved by the People's Republic of China. That's the day that you learn the Chinese government thinks you'll be a pretty darn good parent to this kid, a fact that you've known all along, but some people take a bit of convincing (wink). That's the day when you hold the phone and stare at the number of your adoption agency and think, "Certainly it couldn't actually be," while at the same exact moment pleading, "Oh dear God, please, let it be!" It's the day you hear the words "I'm happy to inform you that you have received your LOA," (that's Letter of Acceptance in adoption lingo). It's the day you realize that you are a mere three months away from holding your daughter.
And while this is all great news, it's really not the best news. The best news doesn't hit you for a few moments, but when it does...wow...because suddenly you realize that if she has not already, then soon, very soon, some caretaker of your daughter will pull her up on a lap and begin to flip through a photo album that you created months ago. She'll say, "This is your mommy. This is your daddy. These are your brothers and sisters. I'm not sure what all these strange pictures of them holding dead fish and birds are about but at least you'll have plenty of food." And if your daughter is only two and a half, like ours, then she will probably have no idea what is going on and move on to to the toy in the corner. But your hope is that over the next three months, she'll look at these pictures every day and get the feeling that this is a family she'd like to be a part of, since the mommy didn't show any pictures of kids doing dishes or being on time out. And maybe, if they keep telling her that these people are her mom, her dad, and her siblings...that she has a family that loves her and that can't wait to hold her and kiss her and take her fishing...then maybe, just maybe, for the first time in her life she might just allow the reality to sink in, "I have a family forever, and they are coming to get me soon."
And that, in my opinion, is the best part of hearing the letters LOA...that my daughter will finally be told "Your family will be here soon."
Dan and I will be on a plane in November to fly to China to pick up Ai Lan because yesterday we heard those magic three letters that we have waited all summer to hear..."Miriam, I'm happy to inform you that Holt received your LOA today!" Yep. God did it again. I can hardly believe it and at the same time, I'm not at all surprised. Last November and December I began praying that he would work a miracle so that adorable girl could be ours, even though we hadn't even turned in an application to our agency. And God gave us Ai Lan. We were told in June that the earliest we could expect to travel to China was December, and even that was wishful thinking. So we prayed boldly, out loud so others could hear it, that God would speed that process up and bring Ai Lan home sooner. Some of you reading this probably remember that plea I put out for others to join me in prayer. And God is so good! He still makes miracles! Do you realize that we will have an adoption completed, start to finish, in eleven months or less? That's pretty rare! I feel so blessed.
Thank you to all of you who have supported us in prayer, financially, and with your friendship.
Until, one day, she's not. That's the day that you are informed that your paperwork was finally approved by the People's Republic of China. That's the day that you learn the Chinese government thinks you'll be a pretty darn good parent to this kid, a fact that you've known all along, but some people take a bit of convincing (wink). That's the day when you hold the phone and stare at the number of your adoption agency and think, "Certainly it couldn't actually be," while at the same exact moment pleading, "Oh dear God, please, let it be!" It's the day you hear the words "I'm happy to inform you that you have received your LOA," (that's Letter of Acceptance in adoption lingo). It's the day you realize that you are a mere three months away from holding your daughter.
And while this is all great news, it's really not the best news. The best news doesn't hit you for a few moments, but when it does...wow...because suddenly you realize that if she has not already, then soon, very soon, some caretaker of your daughter will pull her up on a lap and begin to flip through a photo album that you created months ago. She'll say, "This is your mommy. This is your daddy. These are your brothers and sisters. I'm not sure what all these strange pictures of them holding dead fish and birds are about but at least you'll have plenty of food." And if your daughter is only two and a half, like ours, then she will probably have no idea what is going on and move on to to the toy in the corner. But your hope is that over the next three months, she'll look at these pictures every day and get the feeling that this is a family she'd like to be a part of, since the mommy didn't show any pictures of kids doing dishes or being on time out. And maybe, if they keep telling her that these people are her mom, her dad, and her siblings...that she has a family that loves her and that can't wait to hold her and kiss her and take her fishing...then maybe, just maybe, for the first time in her life she might just allow the reality to sink in, "I have a family forever, and they are coming to get me soon."
And that, in my opinion, is the best part of hearing the letters LOA...that my daughter will finally be told "Your family will be here soon."
Dan and I will be on a plane in November to fly to China to pick up Ai Lan because yesterday we heard those magic three letters that we have waited all summer to hear..."Miriam, I'm happy to inform you that Holt received your LOA today!" Yep. God did it again. I can hardly believe it and at the same time, I'm not at all surprised. Last November and December I began praying that he would work a miracle so that adorable girl could be ours, even though we hadn't even turned in an application to our agency. And God gave us Ai Lan. We were told in June that the earliest we could expect to travel to China was December, and even that was wishful thinking. So we prayed boldly, out loud so others could hear it, that God would speed that process up and bring Ai Lan home sooner. Some of you reading this probably remember that plea I put out for others to join me in prayer. And God is so good! He still makes miracles! Do you realize that we will have an adoption completed, start to finish, in eleven months or less? That's pretty rare! I feel so blessed.
Thank you to all of you who have supported us in prayer, financially, and with your friendship.
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