Happy Eyes...God Has a Purpose and a Plan for You!

"I will not leave you as orphans.  

I will come to you."  

John 14:18

As if every day that I wait for my daughter isn't emotional enough already, yesterday it was as if God picked up the phone and spoke directly to me.  Literally.  

The call was actually from a woman who contacted me because she too was adopting a three year old from China very soon who has SWS.  Last year, she and her husband had been looking on an advocacy site for orphans who have special needs.  There are many such websites that post pictures and profiles of "waiting" children in the hopes that those who are ready to adopt might inquire about a child who is waiting for a family.  Apparently Ai Lan (who was listed under the name "Adele"), was listed under the subheading of "birthmarks."  As they saw Ai Lan's picture, they were quite captivated by her (join the club), especially her "happy eyes."  They had never heard of SWS, and also, they noticed that Ai Lan was "agency specific" to Holt, which meant that you had to be adopting through Holt to request additional information on her.  Since they were using a different agency, that eliminated the chance to inquire about her, but it did prompt them to click to the next child listed in "birthmarks."

And who did they see there but a sweet, adorable little child with the same condition!  It seemed a little spark was lit in them to consider SWS as a possibility for a referral.  The VERY NEXT DAY, their agency called to see if they would like to receive a referral, but thought that they might not since this child had a condition that they had not listed as something they would consider.  This woman said, "No, please send it!"  So the agency forwards on the referral and who do you think it was?  None other than that sweet face they clicked to right after Ai Lan.  This little girl had SWS and a port wine stain on her face, and it wasn't long before this couple decided to accept this referral.  They may even be traveling to China the same time with we are!  

This lovely woman tracked me down because she wanted to tell me that they really feel like Ai Lan was one reason why they were matched with their daughter.  She said it was Ai Lan who caught their attention, and was the reason why they decided to click forward to see what other kids with birthmarks were waiting for a family.  It's as if God was planting the idea in their heart in preparation for the following day's referral.  How amazing is that!?

She found my blog around May, has been following it ever since.  She finally reached out to me in the hopes that these girls, who are only 4 months apart in age, can be a support for each other as they grow.  Who else better than a girl with SWS and adopted from China to understand what a girl with SWS and adopted from China is going through?  And who better to support parents of a Chinese SWS daughter than parents of a Chinese SWS daughter?

Before she found our blog, her husband wondered, "I wonder what happened to "Happy Eyes?"  When she found the blog, they were so excited to see that Happy Eyes was matched with a family!  Months later, I'm so, so very glad that she reached out to us.  She was nervous in doing so, but I hope I put her mind to rest that she made the right choice.  

What a beautiful gift we have all been given.  And this situation just reminded me that God has a purpose and a plan for EVERY person.  God used an orphan, my daughter, to plant the seed in the heart of another family to adopt a child with SWS.  Ai Lan has no idea this has happened, and she doesn't know this other couple's daughter (though she will soon...thank you Skype), but she was used all the same.  And I cannot tell you how many people have contacted me (literally, this is probably the 6th or 7th person) to tell me that those "Happy Eyes" caught their attention as well.  Some told me they were praying that she would go back on the "shared list" so they could request her file.  Others have told me that her face motivated them to consider adoption for a second or third time.  But all of them were genuinely happy that she found a family who will love her.  Love is not selfish.

And this begs the question...what else is God planning for Ai Lan?  Her little life is already making waves!  I'm trying to stuff my pride right now, to remember that whatever good comes from Ai Lan is and will always be the work of God, not the work of Dan and I.  But I'm so, so grateful to be the hands and feet of Jesus that get to propel this child into this world!  She will face challenges, for sure.  But God has ALREADY proven that he will not leave her purposeless, and he used even her most tragic experience, that of being an orphan, to bring life and love to others.  

And the beautiful thing is, EVERY child in this world has the same plan given to them by our Creator.  Every child...the unborn, the orphan, the child with special needs, the child born into an abusive family, and the child born into a loving family, has value and purpose.  When we dismiss these lives before the have even started, or when we refuse to offer these children a home where they are nurtured, we cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to witness God's work through them and the joy in seeing God's plan worked out in amazing design.

Happy Eyes...I love that nick name.  It's going to stick.  Thank you to the beautiful family who reached out to us with the story of their amazing adoption journey!  Here's to many years of friendship!

Travel Arrangements are Made!

Well, the hotels, flights, and government appointments are all booked!  This is becoming more and more real by the day!  Many of you have asked what we will be doing while in China, and when I tell you that we will be gone for 17 days you say..."Why so long?"  So I thought that I'd give you a general idea of what will happen so you aren't wondering what the heck we are doing that whole time!

When we fly in to China, we will land in Beijing.  There we will have three days to get over our jet lag, see a few sights like the Great Wall of China and the Forbidden City, and also meet with the Holt staff in China as well as some of the other Holt families that are adopting when we are.

Then we will take a flight to ZhangZhou, Henan Province.  This is where Ai Lan lives.  As far as I know, there is only one other family traveling to ZhangZhou, and they are also a pastor and his wife!  I've been chatting with her on Facebook and they seem like a lovely family, so I'm excited to share this experience with them and make new friends.

The very next day, we will go to Civil Affairs Office where we will have our "Gotcha Day," which is a nick name for the day you take custody of your child.  As far as I can tell, we will wait in a room for them bring bring Ai Lan from her home to the Civil Affairs Office, and they will give her to us then.  Please, please pray for this moment for us!  I'm a bundle of mixed emotions on this...fear, joy, happiness, sadness for Ai Lan's loss, worry that she'll be terrified of us, etc.   We'll take lots of pictures and video hopefully!

The next morning we have our adoption registration and notarization process, and will apply for her passport.

Then we have two free days to get acquainted with Ai Lan, and see some local sights if we choose.

Next day we fly to Guangzhou, which is where the US Embassy is.  The following few days consist of visa paperwork and medical appointments, free time, picking up the medical check results (namely the TB test results), our visa appointment so that Ai Lan will be able to enter the US upon our return to SF, and an oath taking ceremony making Ai Lan a US citizen!

Christmas Day is a free day, obviously.  I gotta be honest, I was worried about being gone from our 4 biological kids that day, but more and more the idea of spending Christmas in China begins to thrill me!    When I was at Target yesterday, I walked past the little girl's Christmas dresses.  I saw this dress, remembered that I had red shoes already, and I could not pass it up!  Even if we don't leave the hotel that day, my baby girl is TOTALLY going to shine for the holidays!

The day after Christmas, we will pick up Ai Lan's visa, and the following day we fly home!

Is that all clear as mud?  And in case you are like many and are wondering about the weather, here's what you need to know.  China is a HUGE country, and we are flying from the north, to the central province, to the south.  It's like flying from Minnesota, to Sacramento, to Phoenix...very cold, mild, and hot!  Makes packing really, really easy!

If you have any more questions, feel free to ask!

Reindeer Poop

So we were told that there would be no problem with us making the first travel group in December, which needed to be ready to rumble in Beijing on Dec 6.  I was SO glad we would be home for Christmas!  You can only imagine the warm, sweet images in my head of a roaring fire, Bing Crosby piping his low croon in our ears, my kids taking their time opening their presents and relishing them one by one whilst in their fleece Christmas jammies, my husband reading the nativity story by the tree, and the smell of cinnamon rolls wafting from the kitchen as we all love on our new little one, Ai Lan...

Hold up...what?  What did that email from Holt just say?  Did it say that there were no Consulate appointments available and that we have to be in Beijing now on Dec 13th?  Wait a minute.  That means we won't get home until...DECEMBER 27TH?!

Reindeer poop.

When it comes to the unpredictability of preparing for an adoption, this was certainly the grande finale.  I hope.  Please God let it be the grande finale.  No encores.  No encores please.

I'm am DREADING picking up the kids from school today and telling them, "Hey, guess what, we won't be with you for Christmas.  Ta-da!"

But you know what, maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised by their reactions.  Honestly, as the morning progresses, I'm less and less shocked by this news, my mind spinning on how we can make this work.  Does it really matter if we have that fireside Christmas morning moment on Dec 25th or Dec 29th?  And they will certainly be surrounded by grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and extended family who loves them and cherishes them on Christmas Day.

I'm thinking there will be an EPIC Skype session that day.  Epic.

And even if the kids are disappointed, these things remain...

Ai Lan, you are 110 percent worth it.  

If I had to travel to the moon and miss every important holiday 

and birthday for a year just to pick you up, I'd do it.  

You are more important to me than any festivity.  

Your life has value far beyond gifts.  

You deserve to be loved no matter what minor 

inconvenience it puts us through.  

Oh, if every child were valued this much.

The Final Hurdle...Gone!

Decisions

Waiting

Appointments

Paperwork

Waiting

Fundraisers

Prayers

Laughter

Waiting

Tears

Waiting

Nesting

Waiting

Waiting

Waiting

And after all that, you finally reach that point where you are told, "Congratulations, you have received your Travel Approval."

And guess what, then you wait three and a half more weeks.  

 But...during that three and half more weeks you are:

Cooking

Cleaning

Nesting

Booking

Crying (I am leaving 4 children behind after all)

Prepping

Laughing

Painting (well we are)

Organizing

Packing

Decorating (For Christmas since I won't get home till Dec 20)

And Tying up Loose Ends

But then, we will kiss our kiddos goodbye (I want to puke just thinking about that), fly to China, get over our jet lag, and then suddenly, we will no longer be the parents of four.  We will instantly be the parents of five.  FIVE.  Oh sweet Jesus, I need you now more than ever.

And in my imaginary world, our sweet Ai Lan is going to come through that door, run into our arms, and plant a huge kiss on our cheeks, and we will laugh and cry tears of joy as we walk out proudly holding our new daughter.  But in reality, she will be scared to death.  She may not even want to look at us or allow us to hold her.  She may cry, and not the happy kind of cry.  She may scream.  She may run away from us or cling to the person who brought her in.  Or, she may let us hold her, but have the expression of being completely stunned.  Or a combination of some or all of these.  

In my utter joy at finally getting to call this beautiful child our daughter, I must remember that adoption means loss for Ai Lan.  Loss of her home.  Loss of her caregivers.  Loss of her friends.  Loss of her familiar foods.  Loss of her familiar smells.  Loss of her familiar facial shapes.  Loss of her language, loss of her identity.  The only thing we can allow her to fully retain is her name, and I am so, so very glad we are doing that.  It is pitiful offering but it's all we've got that day when we pick her up.  "Hey Ai Lan, you get to keep your name.  That's it."  Geez.  

Eventually, adoption won't mean all loss.  Eventually adoption will mean new family, new love, new language, new home, new smells, new food, pets, new fun, new laughter.  Eventually, after months or maybe years, and only if we do our job right, Ai Lan will learn to love us and her siblings the way we love her.  But never, for one moment, will I begrudge her the emotions that will come when she remembers her past and mourns those things that she has lost.  

He who is seated on the throne said, I am

 making everything new."

Revelation 21:5