The amazing, top of the mountain moments, like when you get your referral, when you turn in that completed dossier, when you get your LOA, or when someone goes beyond generous with a donation that drops you to your knees, do not bring an observer the unbridled joy it does the adopting parents.
Likewise, the low points, like when you look at the $30,000+ price tag on this process, or when your meticulously composed dossier gets rejected for no good reason other than it seemed someone at the consulate had PMS that day, or when someone anonymously and falsely accuses you of ungodly motives for fundraising...yep...those are the moments when you want to crawl under the bedcovers, curl up in the fetal position, and sob until you've got nothing left, mourning the child that is still parentless and the process that seems endless. Someone who hasn't been there simply cannot commiserate.
Some days I'm up on the mountain top.
Some days I'm doing the ugly cry under my duvet.
Today I did both.
I'll spare you the gory details on the bad stuff.
Here's the good stuff:
I. Can't. Believe it.
So here's the deal on the funding. We had to raise the amount fundraised by $1,500 because our adoption expenses have already come to about 21,500, and we were also just told by Holt to expect that our travel will cost $10,000 for the two weeks (wow, really? No bueno. Guess they weren't kidding about that).
BUT LOOK AT WHAT OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS HAVE ALREADY DONATED!
This is simply unbelievable to me. I have applied for grants and adoption loans, which honestly I don't really expect to be granted because these non-profits are underfunded...Show Hope alone turns down 3000 applications a year. Today I told some friends, "I don't want to take out an interest bearing loan to bring home Ai Lan, but if that's what I have to do, that's what I have to do." (This is the point when I can see in my mind's eye God shaking his head in disappointment) Then tonight, we got a donation that literally made me hit my knees, face to the ground, and repent for my unbelief that this effort will be fully funded. With the donation came the Bible verse James 1:27:
"Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you."
I thank God for people who understand that we are not in this for our own personal gain.
And I wonder how any Christian could possibly misunderstand our intentions. Maybe if they saw my "under the duvet ugly cry" while I mourn bad adoption news they would understand I'm not doing this because I love watching people write me checks or because I want others to pay for my ever so glamorous and self-serving ambition to parent a child with special needs that is not biologically my own (insert eye roll here). Believe me, if we had the money to pay the entire ransom for the life of our daughter, the one God placed on our hearts to rescue from the tragedy of abandonment, and who without adoption would languish in an orphanage and never get the medical care she needs, we would STILL accept gifts from our loved ones (I bet you thought I was going to say we'd just pay it all ourselves, didn't you). Why? Because with every dollar someone puts toward that ransom, they become a part of the solution to the global orphan crisis in a tangible way, and that is a holy thing to do, and I would never begrudge someone the joy that comes with offering that kind of grace. It is but a glimpse of the grace that God shows us through our own adoption to Him.
If you have donated to our adoption fund, prayed for us, donated raffle and silent auction prizes, or just simply taken the time to ask me how things are going...thank you. You have no idea what your support of our daughter, and of our family here, means to me. God already has and will continue to provide for this adoption. I'm not sure how. I'm not sure when. I'm not sure who. But I trust that the money will be there when we need it.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
I dont want to say anything negative, but i just wonder how far $30,000 would go to help all the homeless families in Stockton; Pastor
ReplyDeleteDan says we should be out doing God's work in our community!
No worries, this chance is no longer available. You can now work on the homeless... God loves them a LOT! I have fed a homeless man his last meal. I recommend it. When you miss the chance to feed a man his last meal you don't get that chance back. If you have a home... you could always offer it up to someone in need. Or you could sell your computer to buy them food. I don't know you but the reality is Jesus loves them all and we need to start actually doing that too. I can think of a lot of great computer uses then to mock a family adopting babies. If you had lived one moment in an orphanage where I picked my daughter up from... you would never have made that comment. His children are priceless!
DeleteI won't speak to the homeless situation of our community or nation, and how best to alleviate that problem (as I am not sure myself). But I do know I, Pastor Dan, have said from day one in my time here that mission and ministry should follow Jesus' clear words in Acts 1:8, "You will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." This is why mission is stressed both locally and globally in my messages. This is why our church supports mission and ministry locally and globally. And this is why when God placed on our hearts to care for an orphan by completely changing our lives, we followed His leading to international adoption rather than local adoption or foster parenting (for this time, anyway).
ReplyDeleteAnd I will forgive Anonymous above for making, what felt like to me, a disparaging comment concerning my child, who is precious in my heart, who has been given to me by God to love and cherish and guide for the rest of my life. Luke 23:34.
Well said, Dan. Brave to stand in the face of baseless and misguided criticism from someone who doesn't have enough courage to reveal their identity. Proud of you for speaking truth, in love.
ReplyDeleteFolks...its pretty simple. Your place of birth, or where you currently live, does not somehow increase your inherent value as a human being. China, Stockton, wherever...God loves us all the same. Period. If we are hurting, He is hurting. Doesnt matter the circumstances or geography.
Similarly, God calls us all to good works as HE has prepared for us. (Eph 2.) This looks different for each of us. Just because you're not called to it, doesn't make it any less valuable than what you are called to do. But very sad that you'd try to make wonderful people who are doing God's work feel less about their calling. Very sad, indeed.
Funny that no one would criticize someone for raising funds to feed a homeless person, but they would criticize someone for trying to raise funds to ransom the orphan child (that God himself placed in their hearts) from an orphanage where that child will never get the love and care that every human child deserves. A doggone shame, really.
Anonymous, I also forgive you for criticizing my sister and brother in law for trying to do whatever they can to bring home my beloved niece, who God has called them to love as a member of their very own family. My prayer for you is that your heart will be changed and your eyes opened to the amazing gift that is adoption. If you need a tangible example...think about how God adopted you into his family. Dan and Miriam only have to raise $30k. God had to send his only son to be brutally executed on a cross to ransom you, and me. Seems like it's a small price to pay when you look at it through that lens.
PS. Dan and Miriam...so excited about the progress and God's amazing hand in the provision that is being showered on you guys in this special time in your lives. Trust me...when she's home and in your arms...none of this will matter one bit. Keep your eyes on the prize and your hearts set on God's will.
ReplyDeleteRest in Romans 8:13 - If God is for us, who can be against us?