The LOA

The adoption process is not for sissies.  Knitting together a human in my womb, or four, was much easier work.  Adoption is full of tedious paper work, seemingly ridiculous requirements, agonizingly long waits for others to do their job, and the constant urge to fight the pull of depression as the days tick by. Though you may dream about her, hear her laughter ringing in your ears, and imagined you can hear her shuffling in her fleece footsie jammies into your room to climb into bed with you in the wee hours of the morning, one thing remains...she's still has no idea you even exist.  She's still, in her mind an orphan.

Until, one day, she's not.  That's the day that you are informed that your paperwork was finally approved by the People's Republic of China.  That's the day that you learn the Chinese government thinks you'll be a pretty darn good parent to this kid, a fact that you've known all along, but some people take a bit of convincing (wink).  That's the day when you hold the phone and stare at the number of your adoption agency and think, "Certainly it couldn't actually be," while at the same exact moment pleading, "Oh dear God, please, let it be!"  It's the day you hear the words "I'm happy to inform you that you have received your LOA," (that's Letter of Acceptance in adoption lingo).  It's the day you realize that you are a mere three months away from holding your daughter.

And while this is all great news, it's really not the best news.  The best news doesn't hit you for a few moments, but when it does...wow...because suddenly you realize that if she has not already, then soon, very soon, some  caretaker of your daughter will pull her up on a lap and begin to flip through a photo album that you created months ago.  She'll say, "This is your mommy.  This is your daddy.  These are your brothers and sisters.  I'm not sure what all these strange pictures of them holding dead fish and birds are about but at least you'll have plenty of food."  And if your daughter is only two and a half, like ours, then she will probably have no idea what is going on and move on to to the toy in the corner.  But your hope is that over the next three months, she'll look at these pictures every day and get the feeling that this is a family she'd like to be a part of, since the mommy didn't show any pictures of kids doing dishes or being on time out.  And maybe, if they keep telling her that these people are her mom, her dad, and her siblings...that she has a family that loves her and that can't wait to hold her and kiss her and take her fishing...then maybe, just maybe, for the first time in her life she might just allow the reality to sink in, "I have a family forever, and they are coming to get me soon."

And that, in my opinion, is the best part of hearing the letters LOA...that my daughter will finally be told "Your family will be here soon."

Dan and I will be on a plane in November to fly to China to pick up Ai Lan because yesterday we heard those magic three letters that we have waited all summer to hear..."Miriam, I'm happy to inform you that Holt received your LOA today!"  Yep.  God did it again.  I can hardly believe it and at the same time, I'm not at all surprised.  Last November and December I began praying that he would work a miracle so that adorable girl could be ours, even though we hadn't even turned in an application to our agency.  And God gave us Ai Lan.  We were told in June that the earliest we could expect to travel to China was December, and even that was wishful thinking.  So we prayed boldly, out loud so others could hear it, that God would speed that process up and bring Ai Lan home sooner.  Some of you reading this probably remember that plea I put out for others to join me in prayer.  And God is so good!  He still makes miracles!  Do you realize that we will have an adoption completed, start to finish, in eleven months or less?  That's pretty rare!  I feel so blessed.

Thank you to all of you who have supported us in prayer, financially, and with your friendship.